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Words have power and in a negotiation, you’re perceived as being more powerful when you shrewdly use words that the other negotiator perceives as possessing strength.

When we speak, our words have an impact on the person with whom we’re conversing. Thus, we affect that person from a negative, or positive perspective, based on what we say, how we say it, and the manner in which it’s perceived. If you want your negotiations to be successful, discover how and when to use power words that influence the other negotiator and implement the following suggestions.

1. Using power words:

Power words are words that convey a stronger commitment to a position than words that would leave the listener in a precarious state of mind, related to a less than stringent perception that he otherwise might have. Some words, convey a less than strong commitment to a position (i.e. maybe, try, might, possibly, I think). In addition, by using such words, you weaken your position, while leaving yourself open to challenges. To be perceived as possessing a stronger commitment to your negotiation position, use words that convey more conviction (i.e. I know, success, will do, guarantee).

Note: To be perceived as being stronger, speak to what you’re for, not for what you’re against. Manage the level of negativity that could seep into the negotiation.

2. Before the negotiation:

Prior to the negotiation, ask yourself, what demeanor you wish to project and how much power you want to convey in the negotiation. If you project an image that’s too strong, or overbearing, you can alienate the other negotiator. Therefore, you have to measure the degrees of power carried by your words. Your words must be compatible with the manner in which the other negotiator is accustomed to receiving such messages and have the same meaning as he understands their conveyance.

3. Body language:

Being able to read and interpret body language gives a negotiator an advantage. Even when you use the appropriate words to match the situation, you still have to deliver those words in a manner that’s perceived as being in alignment with the actions of your body. If the situation does not call for it, avoid the appearance of being perceived as brash. You don’t want to have the other negotiator be in agreement with your position, only to have him back away, because he adopts a feeling of buyer’s remorse, due to a misalignment between your words and actions.

4. Assumptive questions used for power:

When negotiating, there are ways to use questions to gather additional information, to which the other negotiator assumes you already have the answers. This tactic is called using assumptive questions.

Assumptive questions are secondary questions that bypass an initial question that implies you already know the answer to the question that was bypassed (e.g. What led you to lowering your price in the past?). In a non-assumptive question environment, the initial question would be, have you lowered your price in the past?

By asking the assumptive question, what led you to lowering your price in the past, you give the impression that you know the other negotiator lowered his price at some point. When placed in such a position, the other negotiator will go into reflective mode, in an attempt to determine if you’re aware of the fact that he lowered his price in the past. Even if he states that he did not lower his price in the past, you’ve gain additional information about his negotiation position, and thus the reason this tactic is so powerful.

5. Conclusion:

From your words comes power. If you lack the vocabulary to convey your message in a strong and succinct manner, equip yourself with the verbiage that will be required to gain the upper hand. Learn the language of success as it pertains to the person with whom you’re negotiating.

Sometimes, you have to tell yourself, yes I can. Then, believe it. You don’t have to accept the plight of a negative outcome in a negotiation, if you chose not to. If you use the words that convey your negotiation position with power and do so succinctly, you’ll control the direction of the negotiation. In so doing, you’ll lead the negotiation in the direction you want it to take, which will enhance the probability of a successful outcome… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

• Words can convey power, but words without synchronized body language can lead to confusion. If you wish to be perceived as being more credible, be sure your words, body language, and actions are aligned with the message you deliver.

• In a negotiation, silence can be golden, but even when being silent, you’re still sending a message.

• When negotiating, sometimes you have to escalate your rhetoric in order to disengage and be in a stronger position for the next phase in the negotiation. In such a position, use words that express power and subliminally you’ll send a stronger message.

If you are going to give a presentation to the corporate board of a large company, you have to understand that they’ve already seen many presentations in their career, probably hundreds of them. They’re not going to be easily swayed by tricky lighting, or over-the-top power point presentations. They want facts, they want the reality, and they want you to answer every one of their questions to their liking.

If you fail to answer one of their questions you are doomed, and even if you answer the question, but you didn’t answer it correctly or you misinterpreted it, you will find yourself the brunt of their frustrations, and that could be a deal killer. The tone of your presentation and the tempo are very important, yes it’s important to dress nice, have professional literature, and be clear and concise with your presentation, but there’s more to it than that.

If you have the best product in the world, and you can prove it, even a boring presentation may get more play than a flashy presentation with no substance. However, if you can have the best of both worlds, that is to say an incredible impact presentation, along with a group of incredible folks with an abundance of industry knowledge, you can get to the heart of their questions, and answer them without missing a beat. Indeed if you can’t do this, you shouldn’t be there.

Put yourself in their shoes, if you had to listen to hundreds of presentations over the course of the last five years, would you want to listen to BS, monotone speech, or anyone who couldn’t answer your question? Patience may be a virtue in your church, and in your family life, but it isn’t in the high powered world of corporate boards.

Every question matters and everyone in that room’s opinion matters. So bring on the high-impact presentation, but don’t be naïve into thinking that you can come unprepared. You have to be on your best day, and you had better know what are talking about. Please consider all this.

When presenting, you need to hold your audience’s attention, convey information, and persuade people to act, while all the time guarding against anything that could derail your performance. To help you master this balancing act, here are a few pointers:

* Know your subject inside out. This is the single most important thing you can do to ensure a high-impact presentation. Be the absolute expert on whatever it is that you’ll be talking about. Nobody in the room should know as much about the topic as you do.

* Understand your audience. Speak at their level of knowledge. Know their needs. What do they want from you, and what do you want from them?

* Rehearse. Run through the presentation in front of a mirror, in front of a spouse or friend, or in front of your team. Use a cassette recorder or camcorder. Time yourself and add on a few minutes for Q&A.

* Anticipate questions. As you rehearse, stay on the lookout for places where someone could pose a question. Have answers ready. You’ll probably be asked at least one “out-of-left-field” question. Don’t be thrown off balance by it; take your time to think about the reply and be candid.

* Anticipate hardware problems. Your laptop may freeze. The overhead slide projector’s bulb may blow out. Think of something to say and do while you – and everyone else – wait for the laptop to reboot or the replacement bulb to arrive. Keep an easel and blank flipchart handy.

* Break the ice. Begin with a joke or a personal anecdote that is relevant to the subject at hand.

* Maintain eye contact. As you look around the room, meet each person’s eyes while you speak at least one sentence.

* Interact. Establish a connection with your audience. This is easier if you’re speaking to a small group. Invite people to participate, but keep the discussion focused and on point.

* Don’t talk to the screen. If you’re using overhead slides or a liquid crystal display (LCD) projector, keep your notes in front of you. Then you can continue to look at your audience while talking about the information on the screen behind you. If you want to point to something on the screen, point to it on the overhead slide or computer monitor instead.

* Recap often. If it’s a long presentation that covers many steps, help people absorb it or you may lose them somewhere along the way. Summarize, in one or two sentences, what you’ve covered so far and what the next step will be.

* Keep the lights on. Too many things can go wrong in the dark. People may fall asleep, or they may start concentrating on the refreshments. You won’t be able to make eye contact or read your notes. If you must lower the lights, dim them just a little, not all the way.

* Don’t mix eating and speaking. You can’t expect full attention to your presentation from someone who is biting into an overstuffed chicken sandwich. Avoid the “working lunch presentation.” First food, then business.

* Give handouts. Always give your audience a written summary or outline – after the presentation. There are times when you may need to hand the audience something during your presentation, such as in a training exercise. In such instances, give them only as much material as they need at that point in the exercise.

* Above all, relax. A few butterflies in your stomach are OK, but if you’re too tense, your performance can quickly go downhill. Remember: you’re the expert, you have their attention, you’re in command, and you’re going to make it worth their while. What’s there to worry about?

Copyright 2006 Arun Sinha.