Birthday Present

It was my birthday and as expected I got a call from Ashay saying Happy Birthday to me. I always wonder how he can remember so many birthdays. Everyone receives his phone call for birthdays and anniversaries.

I must accept that I cannot remember birthdays of people except some near and dear ones. How can somebody remember all the birthdays of all the people you meet? This was a mystery for me for many years, until this year. This year I decided to ask Ashay the secret of his memory.

“Hello Ashay,” I called him, “Can I ask you one question?”

“Yes why not?” said he.

“How can you remember so many dates so perfectly?” I asked, “I have heard many people say that Ashay wished me, and he almost remembers all the dates for his friends and family.” My curiosity was pouring out of my words.

“Friend, you will have to come down to my place to know the secret,” he said.

“Do you mean you have a secret?” I was amazed with the answer and also got relieved that Ashay must have something which I can also acquire. “Are you free now? Can I come right away?” I couldn’t stop but to ask him this with impatience.

“Certainly friend, come over, we will have a cup of coffee while I show you my secret,” Ashay said and we hung the phone.

I was more than happy as I finally asked him how he manages remembering so many dates. Now I was on my way to learn something, or maybe get something by which he does this fabulous thing.

I rang the door bell to find Ashay opening the front door. “So where is the magic lamp you posses, which gave you so much magical powers Ashay?” I asked with curiosity.

“This is no magic friend,” he said smiling mischievously and took me to the wall where a calendar was hung. He pointed towards that calendar and asked me to observe it.

It was a calendar dated 1998. Old calendar indeed. It was having current month set. I could see all the dates with names on them. There was today’s date with my name on it. Wow Ashay had maintained a calendar since 1998 with names on the birthday dates. What a simple journal to maintain. I was really amazed with the trick he was following since so many years. There were almost most of the dates filled with names. Some dates were having two names joined with equal to symbol.

“What is the equal to symbol Ashay?” I asked.

“Simple”, said he, “Those are the anniversary dates with two names joined with an equal sign.”

“One question?” I interrupted him.

“Yes.”

“There are too many names on this calendar. Do you really call all of them?”

“No, man,” he explained, “Some are very far now, some have lost the contact. This journal just reminds me of the birthdays and anniversaries of current month. I choose who to call. So the names still in contact and in good faith are chosen to be called.”

“And you know what”, he continued with enthusiasm, “This journal also reminds me all the names I was in contact with some day or other and also helps me remember and find our past friendships.”

What a simple thing to do and yet so powerful I thought after seeing this. The coffee was good. I was imagining the power I will possess just by maintaining such a calendar journal with me. All my friends and relatives will be so happy when I will call them on their important dates. The thought itself made me happy and this was a great birthday present for me from Ashay this year.

Presentation Skills

You’ve only got about fifteen to thirty seconds before people start to settle into their impressions. Hence, when effectively presenting, we want openers that will not only grab our audiences’ attention, but will also quickly establish our credibility, cultivate goodwill with our listeners and introduce our topics.

Think of your opening as not being more than 10 percent of your entire presentation. Budgeting your speech in this manner forces you to organize your time so that you know exactly what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. Scrap the old fillers like, “Today’s topic is…,” or “I’m going to speak on…,” or worse, “I was assigned to talk about….” When preparing your opener, think of efficiency and accuracy. First of all, consider ways that will grab your audience’s attention and perk them up. Several of the most effective approaches involve the use of humor, the telling of a personal story, the posing of a question, the sharing of a quote or the presenting of a startling fact or statistic. Anything that you feel will get your audience to tune in is critical to your opening.

When preparing your opening, how do you establish credibility? One thing is for sure: Don’t just start spouting off your accomplishments and credentials. Nothing will turn an audience off faster. Sure, education and experience matter, but there are subtler ways of mentioning them. Sometimes it will be natural to mention the school from which you graduated, to refer to a publication you authored, etc. Many times, you can do so without seeming pompous. A better strategy than tooting your own horn is to have someone else introduce you before you come on. Another handy way to highlight your qualifications without including a “Why I’m So Great” section in your speech is to include a written bio sketch in any materials you may hand out. Your biography could even be included if a basic itinerary is handed out. Such background information is commonly seen for keynote speakers in programs, for example. A written bio can be very effective, but it is very important to keep in mind that when furnishing this “blurb” about yourself that it be written in the third person-that is, as if someone else is describing you (“s/he” instead of “I”).

When I say you want to establish goodwill with your audience members, what I mean is that you want them to feel that you genuinely care about their needs. You want to exhibit your desire to share something that is both meaningful and useful to them. Very early on in your presentation (in your opening), you must clearly communicate the answer to the audience’s two most pressing questions: “WIIFM?” and “WSIC?” “WIIFM?” stands for “What’s in it for me?” “WSIC?” means “Why should I care?” Your audience has to have a reason to want to listen to you and providing them with the answers to these questions gives them one. If you can answer their unspoken, but sincere interest in WIIFM? and WSIC?, they will definitely feel goodwill towards you. You can then achieve a win-win situation where the feeling of goodwill extends in both directions.

Finally, how do you go about introducing your topic? You introduction can be worked into the opening story, question, statistic, quote or joke you use to grab your audience’s attention. Alternatively, you can set up your presentation so that the way in which you grab their attention smoothly transitions into your topic. Last but not least, I will state the obvious and remind you that a charismatic demeanor from the get-go will carry you miles beyond a dry, monotone one.

Understanding different types of audiences will also help you determine how you design and deliver your message. Following are some different categories of audiences and some strategies on how to deal with each of them.

Learning how to persuade and influence will make the difference between hoping for a better income and having a better income. Beware of the common mistakes presenters and persuaders commit that cause them to lose the deal. Get your free report 10 Mistakes That Continue Costing You Thousands and explode your income today.

Conclusion

Persuasion is the missing puzzle piece that will crack the code to dramatically increase your income, improve your relationships, and help you get what you want, when you want, and win friends for life. Ask yourself how much money and income you have lost because of your inability to persuade and influence. Think about it. Sure you’ve seen some success, but think of the times you couldn’t get it done. Has there ever been a time when you did not get your point across? Were you unable to convince someone to do something? Have you reached your full potential? Are you able to motivate yourself and others to achieve more and accomplish their goals? What about your relationships? Imagine being able to overcome objections before they happen, know what your prospect is thinking and feeling, feel more confident in your ability to persuade. Professional success, personal happiness, leadership potential, and income depend on the ability to persuade, influence, and motivate others.

Dodge Being Icky To Negotiate Successfully

Are you icky when you negotiate? When negotiating, the icky factor is not only a turnoff, but it can also be the death knell of the negotiation.

With a U.S. Congressman being perceived as being icky, as the result of recently getting caught in a spectacle that was made worse by the manner in which he addressed the situation, the question becomes, what makes one appear to be icky?

If you wish to avoid the perception of being icky in your negotiations, observe the following four insights.

Actions That Give The Appearance Of Being Icky:

Each negotiation situation is different from another. Thus, a myriad of factors can come into play, when attempting to isolate the icky factor. Nevertheless, there are constants involved in a negotiation that dictate what icky appears to be and what it feels like. Avoiding a direct question, especially when it’s posed several times, can heighten someone’s senses and enhance the impression that you’re not being forthright, which can lead to the thought that you’re icky. Another icky factor can be the way you speak. If you speak too fast or too slowly to someone that’s attuned to listening at a different pace, you can conjure up the image of one that’s ‘out of step’. Such actions can also create the impression that you’re evasive and thus, icky.

The Perception Of Being Icky:

Being perceived as icky stems from offending the sensibility of the person to whom you’re speaking. Such actions can occur from the manner in which you position your proposal, the perceived bravado in which you delivery it, and the background of the other person. To avoid such perceptions, take into consideration how you’re perceived when negotiating and adopt mannerisms that are appropriate for the environment.

Talking Too Long:

In any situation, if you discuss a subject too long, you run the risk of losing whatever goodwill you’ve generated. It’s better to communicate with certitude, in order to avoid the appearance of being perceived as icky. When you’re in a tenuous position, to avoid being perceived as icky during a negotiation, try to be as transparent as possible. If your behavior is perceived to be out of line with the manner in which it should be, the other negotiator may perceive something as not being right. He may not realize that he’s sensing his emotions at a subliminal level, but his gut will instinctively alert him to proceed with caution. If you project an image that causes him to experience such feelings, you’ll be alienating him, while simultaneously digging a deeper proverbial hole from which it may become extremely difficult to extricate yourself.

Gain Insight:

You can gain insight into the manner that someone perceives your actions by the way they respond to you. If they think you’re not being straightforward, they’ll display body language signals, such as leaning away from you, putting their hand over their mouth when you or they speak, and/or casting a look that you’ll perceive as being troubling. In essence, they’ll be dispelling what you say. If you sense such an action and you’re being forthright, question their perception of your sincerity. If there’s a need for clarification do so before proceeding with your position.

To assist in projecting the proper demeanor for your negotiations, alert your body to what mood you’d like to project. Then, observe the synchronization between your body language/mannerisms, and the way you’re perceived. If everything is in harmony, the other negotiator should perceive your sincerity and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

• To enhance the probability of being successful in your negotiations, avoid being perceived as icky.

• Anyone can misperceive a situation. If you sense your sincerity is being questioned, alert the other negotiator to what you perceive. Don’t allow the situation to go unheeded. To do so could be paramount to flirting with danger, needlessly.

• In any negotiation, negotiators may not see eye to eye on certain points. If you take the time and you’re skillful at decreasing the icky factor, you’ll increase your likability factor. In turn, subliminally, you’ll enhance the negotiation process.